Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Wedding Wednesday, 367 days to go

7 Things No One Tells You About Getting Engaged

1. You Might Not Cry. And that's okay! 

I'll be honest. I was a little sad that I didn't cry when he was down on one knee. I mean this was supposed to be the moment, right? But then I realized, that it was okay. I'm not always the "happy crier" and I was actually speechless - which for me says a lot! Apparently I didn't even say "yes" immediately, but instead just nodded excitedly because that was all I could get out. You can read all about it here. Seriously though, everyone reacts differently, so don't worry if you don't produce what you think is the expected or usual reaction. I can tell you that it was still very clear to him just how excited I was and that my nod was just as good as a blubbery yes! 

2. People Will Expect You to Have a Date Set.

Crazy, I know. You will be surprised how many people that you call immediately after, I'm talking within the hour, will ask you if you've set a date. My advice here - maybe have a date in mind if you know that you are only going to be engaged as long as it takes to plan a wedding, or just say, "we just got engaged! Of course we haven't had time to set a date yet!" Do whatever you think is best, just be ready for that question - it'll get asked! 

3. Phone Calls Take Longer Than You Think.

My fiance had done a lot of research on how to approach an engagement. (I had no idea such a thing even existed.) He said he read a lot of things about making sure that I had time to call everyone between the engagement and dinner (how he planned it), and I still ran out of time. He finally had to tell me to start getting ready for dinner and I actually called one of our friends on the way to dinner because I wanted to tell everyone as soon as I could. You might have a list of people that you know you'll call as soon as it finally happens, but there will always be a few others you think of along the way. Plus, when you haven't called your grandmother in a few weeks, she's going to want to talk about how everything else in your life is going too. Just embrace it, it's great. I was so anxious and excited with every call that I made. I was so happy and I wanted everyone to know, just plan accordingly and be ready to call your girls on speaker phone while you're still trying to put on some make up :) 

4. Unfortunately, It Does Come with Some Stress.

See #3 above. There suddenly seems to be 100 decisions that need to be made. How many bridesmaids? How many guests? What colors? What kind of food? You get the point. While there are certain things that do need to be decided relatively soon after you get engaged, i.e. a date, there are plenty of others that can wait. Within a week of getting engaged we already had our date and church picked out and just knowing that, it meant we also knew we had over a year to plan and were able to relax about everything else for a while. Let yourself enjoy being engaged before you start stressing yourself about everything that you're eventually going to have to do. 

5. Everyone Has an Opinion. 

Again, see #s 3 & 4 above. It was amazing to me how soon the ideas started coming to me via Pinterest, and else where. Initially it was great because I had absolutely no idea what to do or what I wanted. However, as we have started making some firm decisions, any other opinion makes me feel like my idea wasn't good enough or wasn't right. Those feelings have a lot to do with me being sensitive and generally indecisive, but either way the opinions still seem to come in like a flood - so just be prepared. 

6. He Was Probably More Nervous Than You Realized. 

Girls, give him a break. Tell him you love him, tell him it was perfect, tell him to breathe. Right after he popped the question and I had finally regained my ability to talk, I told him that the ring was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen and if it was exactly what I would have picked out. He told me that was the second most relieved he'd been that day! They are nervous. They are scared. We might think that's silly because of course you want to say yes, but they might not realize that, so make sure they know because it will go a long way. 

7. You're Still Going to Have Some Fights. 

See #4. Immediately following the engagement is pure bliss. You want to tell everyone and they all want to know. You are showing your ring off so much that you get offended when the guy bagging your groceries doesn't ask to see it. It's great. But then the planning process starts, the future in-laws suddenly are more opinionated, and nothing seems to go how you want it. It's okay. Things happen, you don't always agree, and an engagement isn't meant to fix that. Just keep in mind that you are planning one day, and what is really going to matter is the rest of your lives. So maybe you can't have the sage napkins and have to settle with mint? It's. Okay. Y'all love each other and you have eternity to plan a dinner party with sage napkins. I think fights are okay because as passive aggressive as I might be, I'd much rather (eventually) get something out rather than let it all build up in side me because one way or another, it is going to come out.

For any newly engaged brides-to-be, or those planning ahead, I hope this helps. I was honestly so surprised by most of these things and wish I'd had some kind of heads up!
What are some things about engagement or even newlywed life that you weren't expecting?

Happy Wednesday, y'all!

linking up with:


  1. I just recently got engaged this past January 2 and these are some GOOD points you brought up! Goodness, I could not believe the overwhelming number of people we had asking us after only a DAY what our wedding date would be. For heaven's sake, can we have some time to talk about it together as a couple first? Ha!

    1. I know, right? I thought at first it was just my grandmother, but then after 3 or 4 others asked about a date too I was shocked! It certainly made us speed up the process of selecting a date soon after though!

  2. This is a really great list! I am pretty sure as soon as we got engaged people were asking what date we were looking into. Thankfully we had talked about it before, and were able to give them 3 options ;)

    Thanks for linking up with us!

  3. I love all of these!! I did cry, but only because my husband starting tearing up ;) Thanks for linking up this week!

    1. Oh, I think crying is also 100% normal, I was a little guilty at first that I didn't, but its because I was just so speechless! Thanks for stopping by!

  4. These are all so true! I love how people assume that once you get engaged you instantly know a wedding date, if only it was that easy!

    1. I know! I kept reminding them I was literally calling them less than an hour after the proposal!

  5. This post is awesome! I definitely thought I'd cry, and after the fact I'd tear up thinking about it. But in the moment I was so stunned I could barely breathe let along do anything else. I think I muttered a "yes" and that's about it. I was shaking!